Favorite Franchises: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen
Directed by: George Lucas


Why? Just, just why? 3 years after George Lucas disappointed Star Wars fans all over the universe, he unleashed Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. There were a lot of fans that honestly believed it couldn't get any worse than The Phantom Menace. Heck, a lot of people thought Lucas learned from his mistakes from the last film and would put the extra effort forward to ensure he doesn't end up with another disaster film. We all went in hopeful, yet again. And then the unbelievable happened: he made something WORSE! Granted, it's debatable among fans which film is worse, but I will say I've been seeing hatred for The Phantom Menace dying more over the last few years and the hatred towards Attack of the Clones growing more. Remember what I said in my last review about the difference between laughably bad and painfully bad? Because I love Star Wars so much, the bad feelings I have towards this film are incredibly painful. So let's trigger one of the biggest panic attacks I'll ever have for a film in one of my favorite franchises. This is Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.

For those waiting for me to bash Hayden Christiensen's portrayal of Anakin Skywalker, all in good time my pretties. For now, let's talk about his dead-eyed love interest Padme, played by Natalie Portman. Just an awful young performance from one of today's most well-known actresses. Her delivery is boring, her lines are overly cheesy, and she is possibly one of the dumbest, most non-sensible heroines I've ever seen on film. Her romance with Anakin lacking so much in chemistry that it rivals Twilight territory. Yeah...THAT bad.

The great Jedi Master Yoda is voiced by Frank Oz and has been utilized as both a puppet and a CGI character in the Star Wars saga. Attack of the Clones is the film that introduced CGI Yoda and it definitely takes away from the wonder of the original Yoda. Something about practical effects just help you believe that character is really there. With this Yoda, I know he's made from a computer. It pulls me out of the adventure I'm watching. Plus, his use of a lightsaber and jumping all over the place at the end is RIDICULOUS. I know there's a lot of people who find it awesome, but I find it hilariously awful. Yoda's wisdom and simplistic use of the Force was much better utilized in the original trilogy (I keep saying those movies are better for a reason folks), and I honestly think his CGI version in Episodes II and III really take away from that mythology and legend that is attached with his name. The real Yoda trumps CGI Yoda any day.

Yoda has this silly lightsaber battle against the film's main villain, Count Dooku, played by Christopher Lee. How dare this film waste great villain potential with Christopher Lee playing a Sith Lord. Count Dooku is only introduced in the last 1/3 of the movie and when he is, there's not much we are told about him. Unlike Darth Maul, he doesn't have an interesting appearance to carry his character development. He has a curvy lightsaber, can shoot lightning out of his hands, but something about him still doesn't come off as this great villain for the film. It's missing a proper payoff in my opinion. Lee is an amazing actor that we unfortunately lost this year, and while I can't consider Dooku a great character in the franchise, I'll still look on the character fondly because of the amazing talent and legacy left by Christopher Lee.

We get another boring villain in Jango Fett, played by Temuera Morrison. He's so simplistic: he's trying to kill Padme and he's the "father" of the "child" who would grow up to be Boba Fett. I actually do enjoy the fight scene he has with Obi-Wan Kenobi, but just like Darth Maul, awesome villains are not just defined by the ability to have one good fight scene. There needs to be something deeper, and they TRY to make him deeper simply based on the idea of his DNA being used to create Boba Fett and a whole army of clones.

The film is called Attack of the Clones, so we might as well discuss the introduction of the Clone Troopers. They are cloned from Jango Fett and the mystery surrounding them is about who ordered their creation. All signs point to the Sith probably using them to their advantage...so the Jedi decide to use them at the end of the movie to save the day. Here lies one of my biggest problems with the prequels: THEY MAKE THE JEDI LOOK LIKE FRICKIN MORONS!!!! Obi-Wan is suspicious of these Clone Troopers. Heck, they were cloned off the character that is trying to KILL one of our main characters. In what universe do you think they are going to be 100% helpful good guys? Seriously, you guys deserve to have Order 66 executed on you.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones may have held over my entertainment value when I was a child, but the novelty has worn off many years later. Yes, it is kinda cool to see a whole bunch of Jedi fighting in an arena together, but they're fighting the expendable droid army, so it's barely a challenge for them. The problems pile on way too high to find anything overly salvageable. A horribly forced romance, moronic Jedi characters, a focus on CGI, weak villains in Count Dooku and Jango Fett, a ridiculous looking battle featuring a ridiculous looking CGI Yoda, and so much more make it my least favorite episode in the saga. What's saddest about this film is that it has the name Star Wars attached, when it truly doesn't deserve to be in the same franchise as the original trilogy.


Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

I'll love this series til the day that I die, but Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones makes me want to tear my hair out. Badly written, poor acting, terrible character motivations and decisions, and a film that is clearly focusing more on action and effects than actually being something worthy of the title Star Wars. The biggest amount of skipping in the galaxy should be saved for a movie like this.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones and movie images are copyrighted by 20th Century Fox

Favorite Franchises: Star Wars Episode I- The Phantom Menace

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)
Starring: Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman
Directed by: George Lucas


It should come as no surprise that I love Star Wars. Since as long as I can remember, Star Wars has been a part of my life. With a new film coming out in a few weeks, there's no better time than to share my thoughts on this groundbreaking saga. However, there's a lot of conflicting thoughts and feelings that I have for this franchise. For starters, while I am in full support of watching this in the order they were made (starting with A New Hope), I realize with The Force Awakens being the seventh film, I'll need to review these in numerical order. This also means I get to start with getting the worst out of the way early. It's no secret that the prequels aren't a beloved trilogy in most fans' eyes and a lot of that hate started with the release of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. I think a lot of that hate arrives at the idea that fans waited 16 years since the last Star Wars film to get this one. Expectations were so high for it that I doubt any movie could have lived up to the hype. It's been 16 years since this movie's release, so let's see if the film is still THAT bad after the removal of the disappointing nostalgia goggles pertaining to the initial release of The Phantom Menace.

Let's start by bringing up the two scenes that most people bring up in defense of The Phantom Menace. The first is the Podracing scene. While a little too long for my taste, I can see where it gets its appeal. If you love NASCAR, you'll love seeing it in space. The true highlight of the film is the incredible lightsaber battle pitting Darth Maul against Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi. It's so beautifully choreographed and accompanied by the amazing "Duel of the Fates" theme, it creates a final fighting scene that is worth the price of admission. As far as lightsaber battles go, this is my favorite one to watch. Sure, there are plenty of other lightsaber battles that are more story driven, but, on a pure action standpoint, this one gets me pumped every time I go through these films.

And then there's the one character everyone goes on about when it comes to this film, Darth Maul, played by Ray Park. Again, a lot of that comes to the physicality and choreography he brings to the lightsaber battles. There's also something very appealing about his look. The red and black skin, the red and yellow eyes, the horns, the double-bladed lightsaber. He's got a very memorable look that came about at the right time and took the world by storm. Heck, I remember dressing up as Darth Maul for Halloween in 1999. However, there's a big gripe that can be taken with Darth Maul and that's that his time in the film (and the entire series) is way too short. He has maybe two lines of dialogue, shows up in about 4 or 5 scenes, and then that's it. Yes, he's part of the film's best scene, but there's nothing to know about his character outside of his look. Sure, as a kid, I didn't care. But as an adult and a movie reviewer, you start to take notice of those things. Oh well, he's still pretty awesome.

Last of the fun characters and then we'll dig in to the crap. Liam Neeson plays Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. I think most people like Qui-Gon because of Neeson and not the character himself. Today, Liam Neeson has an almost Chuck Norris-like following from his fans, so when you put a lightsaber in his hands, people are bound to have some fun with that. However, I found myself getting really frustrated with Qui-Gon as a character. It's hard to explain, but he just makes a lot of mistakes and poor judgment calls that lead to him being a terrible main character to follow. Plus, he's responsible for explaining to the world that the Force is powered by midi-chlorians. The less we say about that subject the better.

The really good moments of the film stop there and the film's worst moments begin with the character of Jar Jar Binks, voiced by Ahmed Best. This clumsy, annoying, and (possibly) racially offensive character is the butt of many jokes geared towards the prequels. Every moment he's on screen is painful. There's only so much I can say about him that hasn't already been said by nearly every fan on the planet. He's a step in the completely wrong direction for tone and momentum when trying to watch the film. In the original trilogy, characters like C-3PO, R2-D2, Chewbacca, and even Han Solo in moments are used for comedic relief to bring a little levity to the deep and emotionally heavy story that is taking place. Here, the film is already so boring and hard to invest in, that when Jar Jar shows up in scenes, he's absolutely getting in the way and making it even more difficult to give a crap about what's going on. His comedy is not versatile. He has only one dial: annoy everyone in the film and in the audience. Cause that's something I'm really looking for in one of the characters with the most screen time in this film.

Jake Lloyd plays the child version of Anakin Skywalker. Here is the main problem with this film, in my opinion, but unlike a good number of Star Wars fans, I'm not blaming this kid. I'm a 22-year-old man and I'm not going to blame a film's failure on a 10-year-old child. What sense does that make? The real person to blame is George Lucas for thinking THIS was what fans wanted to see in exploring the origins of the man who would eventually (*SPOILERS?*) become Darth Vader. Yes, Jake Lloyd's acting is wooden and very noticeably bad, but he didn't just insert himself into the film. Someone had to audition 3000 child actors and say "Yeah, this kid's exactly what we're looking for." At the end of the day, it's the poor conceptualization that led to the insane amount of backlash surrounding Jake Lloyd and kid Anakin.

It's been 16 years and I think it's really difficult to add anything to the amount of hatred moviegoers have towards Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. What could I possibly say that would be able to stand out from what nearly every other critic or moviegoer has said for nearly 2 decades? It would be the movie equivalent of kicking a dead horse, and that can only be entertaining for so long. I will say one final thought about The Phantom Menace before I move on from it, this is NOT my least favorite Star Wars film. Don't get me wrong, it's a bad movie. But I'd rather watch something that is laughably bad than a film that is irritatingly bad. For that reason, I'll enjoy every cheesy, poorly written, badly acted, overly saturated CGI filled moment of The Phantom Menace.


Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace is filled with problems, but enough time has passed to where I can watch it and have a good laugh. Not every Star Wars fan is going to have this response, as this film still gets a lot of flak from a very large fan base. For that, I can't recommend this movie for everyone. The casual moviegoer looking to get in to Star Wars can go ahead and skip this installment, but look up the film's final lightsaber battle. That is quite a highlight for a horrible movie.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace and movie images are copyrighted by 20th Century Fox

Fowler's Frights 2015: Friday the 13th (2009)

Friday the 13th (2009)
Starring: Derek Mears, Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker
Directed by: Marcus Nispel


Technically, I'm a little late on this one because it's Saturday the 14th where I'm at, but I watched this film on Friday the 13th so I'm going to count it as on time. Happy Friday the 13th everyone, let's talk about the most recent film depiction of Jason Voorhees, the 2009 remake of Friday the 13th. With a film like this, there were a lot of hit and miss factors. Sean S. Cunningham serving as producer. Hit. Michael Bay also serving as producer. Miss. The screenplay was done by the guys who wrote Freddy vs. Jason. Miss. The young cast. Hit. And of course, seeing a modern take on the character of Jason has the biggest amount of intrigue for a moviegoer. Surprisingly, with the amount of hatred horror remakes have been getting over the years, I have pretty decent things to say about this one. While not a perfect film, nor the greatest Friday the 13th film, it at least tries to do something a little different rather than just remake the original film. It's a return to roots for Jason, but updated for the modern audience and I quite enjoy it, so let's talk about the positives of 2009's Friday the 13th remake.

I'll get to Jason in a minute, but let's look at the young cast of "teenagers" in this film. I actually enjoy a lot of these actors from other things, but not many of them do anything overly impressive. There are at least two that stick out in my mind. The first is Clay, played by Jared Padalecki, who we really can sympathize with because he's looking for his sister, whom was kidnapped by Jason at the beginning of the film. We like Clay and we want him to find his sister, simple as that. The other character that is truly memorable is Trent, played by Travis Van Winkle. This guy is a complete DICK! I usually try to keep my words on here PG, but there's no better way to put it. He's a snobby rich boy who just says the rudest things at the worst time. He randomly cheats on his girlfriend and completely doesn't care when he gets caught. He is just a massive tool box and is possibly the biggest character in the entire franchise where the audience can go "I really can't wait for Jason to get you!"

And now on to Jason. Derek Mears dons the mask (and the potato sack for a little bit) for this installment and actually does a good job with it. It's weird not to imagine Kane Hodder in the role at this point, but we aren't dealing with a zombie Jason this time. Kane is zombie Jason, but I think Derek Mears could go down as the best human form of Jason. He's a big guy who can't be stopped. He's absolutely intimidating. He makes the potato sack look scary for a good chunk of the film. That's not an easy task to do. With another Jason movie due out in a few years, I'll be glad if Mears returns to the role, as he left a good impression with his performance here. For all we know, he could go down as this generation's definitive Jason Voorhees.

Nowadays, most horror remakes will borrow heavily (possibly 90%) from the original film and it will be a carbon copy of a movie we've all seen before. With Friday the 13th, we honestly get bits and pieces thrown in from the first three films in the series. We see a prologue scene in the beginning that borrows from the ending of the original film, Jason runs around in the potato sack from Part 2 for a while, and then finds the hockey mask in a barn like in Part 3. That's pretty much all it took from the movies. Maybe Clay's motivation seems similar to something out of The Final Chapter, but now I'm nitpicking. Point is, the film, for a remake, feels very contained in itself. In no way is that actually a bad thing, and heck, it set things up for a sequel that I would honestly be invested to see. The film, in my opinion, could be considered a success because it rekindled the desire to see Jason Voorhees terrorize Camp Crystal Lake on the big screen. He'd been to New York, Hell, Space, and fought with Freddy Krueger. Now, he's back to basics, but through a modern retelling. It's never going to be Academy Award quality filmmaking, but I'm all for it.


Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars.

The Friday the 13th remake gives you tons of violence and sex. If that's your thing, then you'll probably enjoy watching it. It returns Jason Voorhees to his roots and it's one of the rare horror remakes in recent memory to not be a complete disaster, so give it a watch.

Comment below to share your thoughts on the movie or to discuss a topic that I left out of my review

Friday the 13th (2009) and movie images are copyrighted by New Line Cinema

Fowler's Frights 2015: Freddy vs. Jason

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
Starring: Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Monica Keena
Directed by: Ronny Yu


At the end of Jason Goes to Hell, the world was treated to the horror teaser of a lifetime. Focusing in on Jason's hockey mask on the ground, Freddy's clawed glove pops out of the ground and drags Jason's mask down to Hell. And then we waited for 10 years while Freddy vs. Jason remained in development Hell. Several scripts and revisions were made. Everyone wanted to be the person to make this film. It's a title that carries some serious weight in the horror community. To be the person who either wrote or directed the film that put Freddy Krueger against Jason Voorhees has to be one of the most daunting tasks in film history. If you succeed, you're looked at as a legend. If you fail, you're considered a joke among the entire community. Needless to say, Freddy vs. Jason is considered to be a fun film because of the two iconic personas, but the screenwriters and director Ronny Yu have been the butt of many jokes and subjected to ridicule over bad filmmaking ever since the film was released. But let's focus on the good aspects of the film, because trust me there are some good qualities. We'll start by talking about the returns of some very old friends.

After the disappointing finale to my Nightmare on Elm Street retrospective last month, I'm so thankful to get another opportunity to review a film featuring Robert Englund as Freddy Krueger. He gets to do his thing, like always, and serves as the puppet master for this film's plot. It's been a long time since he's been relevant in Springwood, so he recruits Jason Voorhees to kill for him so people will be afraid again, thus giving Freddy the power to kill teenagers in their dreams again. It's a very unique concept and you need a charismatic entity to drive that concept forward. Freddy is the guy to do that and Robert is the guy to play him.

Ken Kirzinger plays Jason Voorhees in this film. I know I'm not the only one who wished Kane Hodder would've been the one playing Jason here, but the studios wanted Jason to be a taller, more imposing figure in contrast to Freddy. Still, Kirzinger does a fine enough job, particularly in giving Jason a sympathetic personality. Plus, it goes without saying that Jason clearly gets the bigger body count in this film over Freddy.

I'm sure there's a couple other things I could talk about, but who really cares when you've got two of horror's greatest icons going head to head in a battle for the ages. Freddy vs. Jason may not be a perfect film, but it gives the people what they want. We get to see Freddy and Jason go at it twice. The first time, it's in Freddy's dream world, where he clearly has the advantage. Then, when Freddy is pulled into the real world, it's an even playing field. I also love how both killers have different skills and advantages. Jason has the power and Freddy is more agile. Going into the movie, you're bound to have a favorite, so this is one of those films to watch with a group of friends and place your bets to see which of these slasher legends comes out on top.


Rating: 3 out of 5 stars.

Absolutely. Freddy vs. Jason is one of those films where the flaws do not matter. It's Freddy Krueger vs. Jason Voorhees in a very memorable and gruesome encounter. For casual horror viewers, and especially for fans of either franchise, this film is a definite watch.

Comment below to share your thoughts on the movie or to discuss a topic that I left out of my review

Freddy vs. Jason and movie images are copyrighted by New Line Cinema

Fowler's Frights 2015: Jason X

Jason X (2001)
Starring: Kane Hodder, Lexa Doig, Lisa Ryder
Directed by: James Isaac


Well...we're here. We're at the point where they actually stopped caring. We've now got a film where Jason Voorhees is walking around in the future AND in outer space. WHAT. THE. CRAP!?!?!? Jason X is the film New Line made between Jason Goes to Hell and the next film I'm going to review to see if the fans were still interested in seeing Jason. THIS is the idea they thought would put the butts in the seats? Jason in SPACE?!!? There is no way of being able to take this film seriously. No reason for existential debate or analysis. It's a guy who wears a hockey mask, wields a machete, is indestructible, and is now in outer space. Did this film prove to the world that Jason was still relevant? No, not really. Did it show why mainstream horror had been a mocked genre since the '90s? Oh, you betcha. Let's not waste any more time and jump right into Jason X. May God have mercy on my soul.

So yeah, Jason is once again played by Kane Hodder, and he's in space and in the future. I swear, as big of a horror legend that Kane is, I wish he could've been in better Jason movies. This is embarrassing. We get to see him in the usual Jason getup, with no explanation of why he doesn't look like how he did in Jason Goes to Hell, but then the film is near the end and he gets a metallic upgrade. And the new look is ridiculous. It's like when you beat the boss at the end of the video game, and he comes back as that unfair super boss level, so you have to technically beat him twice to win the game. That's Jason as a nutshell in this ridiculous movie concept.

The characters are pretty much just blood bags at this point. Yes, the film is gory. Yes, there is a large body count. But we don't actually care if these people live or die. We're just rooting for Jason at this point, but as long as the movie is good. This movie...isn't good. So, we REALLY don't care about what's going on anymore.

There's not much else to say about it. This film is so bad that it's amazing to watch. We've got scenes of guys in lingerie getting his nipples twisted, we've got horrible CGI, some hilarious deaths, ridiculous dialogue, and a roided up final version of Jason going head to head with a dominatrix clad android. Again, I say WHAT. THE. CRAP?!?! Jason X is a miracle of a film. A concept so bad and laughable that aspiring filmmakers can look at it and say "my film has hope if a movie like Jason X can be made."


Rating: 2 out of 5 stars.

Know that you're watching one of the most ridiculous horror movie concepts imaginable, and Jason X is hilarious from start to finish. Seriously, it's Jason in space. Laugh it up. It's funny. But, if you're looking for something truly scary, this is a definite skip.

Comment below to share your thoughts on the movie or to discuss a topic that I left out of my review

Jason X and movie images are copyrighted by New Line Cinema

Fowler's Frights 2015: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
Starring: Kane Hodder, John D. LeMay, Kari Keegan
Directed by: Adam Marcus


After Jason Takes Manhattan failed with critics and at the box office, Paramount looked to ditch the franchise, feeling Jason Voorhees had been milked for all he's worth. New Line Cinema quickly jumped at the idea to pick up the Friday the 13th franchise, and thus Jason found a new home. With Sean S. Cunningham returning to the franchise, the studio set out to make Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, a film that (for the second time in the series) promised to bring an end to Jason Voorhees. By now, we know (once again) that that wasn't true, but how does the film stand on its own? Honestly, it's bizarrely entertaining to watch. Even if Jason is hardly in the film, we get tons of gore, a deeper look into Jason's mythology, some superb special effects, and some of the most memorable characters of the entire franchise. The movie is still a pile of garbage, but it's the most entertaining garbage you could imagine for the Friday the 13th series. So let's see what's so entertainingly awful and amazing about Jason Goes to Hell.

Kane Hodder is back to play Jason Voorhees, sporting a weirder, melted appearance. I actually like his updated look, but we barely get any time with this Jason before he disappears for most of the film. We see Jason taken out in the film's opening, but his heart still beats and he possesses a bunch of different people, jumping from body to body until he can be resurrected. It's a fun premise, but we don't care if random people are butchering random people in this film. If they aren't wearing a hockey mask, then the film's kind of missing the heart and spirit of the series. The killer in this film should be Jason Voorhees in both name and body, but here, it's mostly just by name.

I'll give the film some serious credit for giving me some characters that I actually care about. The films in the past were lucky enough to get me one character I could care about (other than Jason). Right from the start, this film gave me two. The first is the main character Steven, played by John D. LeMay, who is possibly the most heroic character in this entire series. Motivated to protect the woman he loves and the baby he never knew about, Steven goes to the most extreme lengths to stop Jason and save the day. And the fact that he looks absolutely unassuming and nerdy makes him that much more awesome as he does all these things. The other is Creighton Duke, a charismatic and questionably insane bounty hunter played by Steven Williams. Seriously, watch his scenes and try not to laugh. The guy is just awesome and owns every moment he's on screen.

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday ends up being a little too deep for this type of franchise, but that may not necessarily be a bad thing. We get some amazingly gory and creative special effects, a deeper look into Jason's mythology with the idea of him being pure evil that will keep living even if his body is destroyed, and a killer that jumps from body to body begging our heroes to trust no one. You don't expect a story like this to come from the murderer of Camp Crystal Lake who goes around wearing a hockey mask. It's different, but maybe a bit too smart for the audience it's normally targeted at. Because of this, the film is poorly regarded by most Jason fans, but I hold a soft spot for it, as I can honestly say they were trying to be different. So I give them solid props for creativity and effort.


Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars.

Perhaps a little too ambitious for its own good, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday promises to at least give the viewer something different than the other sequels. If you can acknowledge that you're watching something ridiculous, you might be able to let yourself go and enjoy this bizarre acid trip of a horror film. Also, the ending will deliver something very special to all slasher fans.

Comment below to share your thoughts on the movie or to discuss a topic that I left out of my review

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday and movie images are copyrighted by New Line Cinema

Fowler's Frights 2015: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
Starring: Kane Hodder, Jensen Daggett, Scott Reeves
Directed by: Rob Hedden


Ok, we've reached the point of no return for taking Jason Voorhees as a serious slasher villain. His next three films will take him to some of the strangest locations imaginable for a horror franchise. He's purely for laughs at this point and the studios knew that. Why else would they advertise a film where he actually goes to New York? Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan could have had an immense amount of potential for some hilarious scenes with Jason. He could've visited the Empire State Building, Madison Square Garden, Central Park, you name it. Unfortunately, the budget could not afford them to film in New York for very long, so they mainly got a few scenes in Times Square, while filming the rest of the scenes in Canada. So, let me get this straight. The film is about Jason going to New York, but he's barely in New York. In fact, most of the film is set on a boat. Why didn't they just call it Jason on a Boat? But I digress, let's go ahead and climb aboard what many consider to be the worst film in the original series. This is Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan.

At this point, we just watch Jason Voorhees for the laughs. Seriously, I crack up every time I see him in this movie. You see Jason climb aboard a boat, kill people with guitars, kill people with rocks, shows up in the funniest of places, kicks boomboxes, and even saves the day by attacking a couple of muggers. He's a walking punchline at this point. Kane Hodder is still the man when he plays Jason but I seriously wish he could've played Jason in better films. He saves every moment of bad acting and horrible dialogue that exists in this film.

We get about an hour of this film where Jason is supposed to be in New York on a boat traveling to New York. I like quirky Jason shenanigans like the next demented horror fan, but this was asking for a lot. Don't call your movie Jason Takes Manhattan if he's barely in Manhattan. That's some serious false advertising. Would it have been better had they made the title actually fit the scenario? Probably not. I can't imagine a lot of people showing up to see Jason Out to Sea or something. But still, all shame should be pointed at the marketing campaign for leading viewers astray.

By the time they actually get to New York, it's a squandered opportunity. Sure, it's nice to see Jason running around Times Square, but that's all you actually see of Jason in New York. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan could have been something silly, but also really memorable had they committed to the joke fully. Instead, we have a very lackluster film that drags and drags with little to no proper payoff. Although, as a fun bonus, check out all the product placement you can see in Times Square at the time. From Coca Cola to Kodak to Tim Burton's Batman. To think, a film like this came out the same year as that masterpiece. Talk about a contrast in quality.


Rating: 1 out of 5 stars.

The longest entry in the series thus far, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan is quite possibly the worst of the series. I mean, it's REALLY bad. They don't even spend a lot of time in New York. If you want to see Jason on a boat, this is the film for you. If you're like everyone else who actually wanted to see Jason take Manhattan, avoid getting disappointed and skip this film.

Comment below to share your thoughts on the movie or to discuss a topic that I left out of my review

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan and movie images are copyrighted by Paramount Pictures